How Doing Advanced Calculus Can Lead to Consequences
by SugarTensai
Summary: 7 word challenge from mjp03/ Renji does advanced calculas while fangirls chase. What a horrible fate for the fangirls.


**A/N:** SEVEN WORD CHALLENGE FROM MJP03 \\( ^ ^ )/

Also known as: the hardest damn challenge anyone has ever given me. XD

 **Words:** floccinaucinihilipilification (meaning: categorizing something as worthless), Muslim, osculate (meaning: kiss), platypus, bin Laden, bisexual, hermaphrodite

Now three of these can be touchy subjects for people, two are super scientific words, the rest are random. I tried not to offend anyone. ^ ^

You'll see 'take one' and 'take two' and those are the rough drafts that I literally started out with XD and 'Take three' is the final, but I thought it would be fun to share the ridiculous drafts with you guys since this was pretty difficult. XDD (thank goodness for Renji who can get away with saying big words ;p)

 **Also a note:** Today is 9/11, and coincidentally, bin Laden is one of the words. Let's keep those who died on this day in mind.

Now not to end on a sad note, let's begin! ;D

* * *

 **TAKE ONE:**

The Rikkai regulars picked up a piece of paper.

"Floccinaucinihilipilification, Muslim, osculate, platypus, bin Laden, bisexual, hermaphrodite."Read Marui.

"Whatever."

* * *

 **TAKE TWO:**

Kirihara stood up and shared his science research project.

"My topic is on hermaphrodites." He said confidently.

Yukimura beamed at him in pride.

Kirihara cleared his throat.

"Muslim Platypuses are a floccinaucinihilipilification to society because they cannot even tell the difference between bin laden and an orange. Also, they may possibly be bisexual as they osculate with pebbles."

Kirihara looked up happily. "The end!"

Sanada looked slightly shocked. "You're handing that in...?"

"Niou helped me!" Kirihara said, "Look at all the big words he used!" He beamed.

In the distance, you could hear the sound of a mighty crack, similar to a lighting strike, only it was a slap.

* * *

 **TAKE THREE:**

It was quite common to see crowds of fangirls crowding the nets to the tennis courts in RikkaiDai.

It was quite common to see crowds of fangirls sprinting in high heels towards the Rikkai tennis after practice was over.

It was quite common to see the boys doing intensive parkour combined with a whole lot of screaming and occasionally, Kirihara would be snagged by his shirt or Marui would trip over a stray fangirl or Jackal would be sacrificed to repel the fangirls for a few seconds.

But it definitely was not common to see Renji get caught ("RENJI STOP DOING ADVANCED CALCULAS FOR A MOMENT THERE ARE FANGIRLS GAINING-" Yagyuu had screamed in warning)

But Renji had never been caught before so his reaction to it was a little more than completely unexpected.

"…" Screamed Renji while looking extremely nervous and stiff, making desperate eyes towards Yukimura.

Niou bravely jumped in to rescue his teammate, dragging Kirihara along with him as a shield. "RENJI! HOLD ON!"

Sanada also joined in, looking slightly frantic because he couldn't slap women and was therefore defenseless.

Renji remained motionless.

"RENJI WHAT ARE YOU DOING-MARUI HELP ME PULL-" Jackal yelled as he narrowly avoided colliding with Sanada, and jumped over a fallen fangirl's body.

"I'M PULLING I'M PULLING!" Marui hollered towards Jackal who was now screaming something at Sanada-"SANADA YOU'RE GOING TO RIP HIS ARM OFF!"

"YAGYUU, GET OVER HERE AND HELP!"

"I'M TRYING CAN'T YOU SEE-"Yagyuu was then tackled and dragged under.

"NIOU!" Jackal yelled at a stray platypus, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Kirihara answered, "HE SAID HE WANTED TO APPEAR INCONSPICIOUS!"

"erlaurghgh!" Jackal screamed to let out frustration.

"WHAT?" Kirihara yelled.

"NOTHING-"

* * *

 **TEN MINUTES LATER:**

"Thanks Yukimura," Jackal sighed as he seated himself on a bench in the boys locker room, "you were THE ONLY ONE who actually helped." He glared pointedly at everyone else.

"Hey! I helped!" Marui argued, and made a little 'hmph' sound.

Everyone looked at Renji.

He was still in shock.

"…" Renji said.

.

.

.

Yukimura frowned. "Renji…are you uncomfortable around girls?

* * *

"You're practically fifty!" Kirihara stated, as he patted Renji on the back in encourgment. "you can do it!"

("if Renji is fifty, what is Sanada?" Marui snickered.)

"I am not fifty." Renji muttered under his breath. "Yukimura, I am not _afraid_ or _awkward_ around women."

"We saw the proof two weeks ago, Renji."

"...I will not go on the date you set me up with then."

"Its so you can conquer your weakness."

Niou smirked, "You know, I once thought you were gay or at least bisexual because you never even talked to girls."

Renji glared some more daggers.

His eyes remained closed so it was a mystery to anyone how he glared.

"Dating is a floccinaucinihilipilification." Renji said and crossed his arms. "This would be so much easier if evolution made us all hermaphrodites."

"I hate how when he's mad he uses big words to make us feel dumb while getting his point across at the same time," Yagyuu sighed.

Renji smiled triumphantly.

* * *

"I'M NOT GOING ON THE DATE."

"YES YOU ARE."

"Yukimura."

"Yes?"

"…"

"…"

"I'M NEVER GOING ON THE DATE."

"RENJI, PLEASE COOPERATE, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO USE YIPS ON YOU-"

"I will find your darkest secrets."

"Renji."

"I will defect to Seigaku."

"Renji."

"I will not share the shrimp in my bento anymore."

Yagyuu and Marui removed their ears from the clubroom door.

"Wow, harsh." Yagyuu muttered.

* * *

Squatting under the bush by Renji's house, the Rikkai team waited with binoculars for the big moment.

"How did you convince him?" Sanada asked Yukimura.

"I guilt tripped him." Yukimura smiled.

"HES HEADING OUT!" Kirihara subtly shrieked toward the general direction of Yukimura.

"Oh my gosh." Marui face palmed as Renji noticeably turned toward the sound in the bush and glared daggers into it.

Kirihara stuck a hand out and waved.

"why do I even-?" Marui sighed.

* * *

"He's dressed like a Muslim."

"...He's trying to scare away the poor girl."

* * *

Renji leaned forward and placed his hand on the girl's shoulder.

Kirihara squinted. "What's he doing?"

"I instructed him to use at least one pick up line." Yukimura said, smirking.

Renji sighed.

He stared deeply into the girl's eyes.

"Would you...like to...osculate?"

He flipped his hair for effect.

The girl stared. "What?"

Marui furrowed his brow, "What?"

Kirihara frowned, "WHAT?"

"Be quiet-!" Yagyuu shushed, as if watching a k drama.

* * *

"How was your date, Renji?" Yagyuu asked curiously.

"It was boring."

"What happened?"

"I attempted to have a decent conversation with her but..."

"But?"

"She didn't even know who bin Laden was."

"Well..."

"And then she giggled when I said 'dichlorophenoxyacetic acid'."

"..."

"One does simply not giggle at the word 'dichlorophenoxyacetic acid'. Also, don't think I didn't notice the platypus that was waddling behind me."

"That was Niou."

"I WAS TRYING TO BE INCONSPICUOS!" Niou interjected in self defense.

* * *

Sanada sighed.

"You know what Seichii?"

Yukimura looked up, "Yes?"

"I think that was more of a punishment toward the girl than Renji."

"go on."

"...I also happened to catch Renji going on another date."

Yukimura's eyes widened slightly.

"...He said there was science experiment and he needed test subjects."

Yukimura relaxed. "Thank goodness. I thought it was something serious."

* * *

 **A/N:** uh this has no plot. Also, don't date Renji.


End file.
